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What I Learned – 2019 April Fools’ Jokes That Were Particularly Cruel

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Unless you’re a corporation or a cop with the cop password to your cop social media account, April Fools’ Day is something to be dreaded.

This year, however, the day really outdid itself. Not only have big brands shared the usual cast of fake products, fake events, and trolly food combinations, they’ve also pranked us with ideas that could, and should, exist.

It feels particularly cruel. Here are some of the best/worst ones that tricked people into believing it was real — and preyed upon people’s wishful thinking.

They also made up the claim that the flagship location will be in the Flatiron building, which is across the street from a Shake Shack location.

The official US Open account said they will now allow puppies to fetch balls during tennis matches.

BREAKING: The US Open to add puppies to the ballperson team at the 2019 tournament for the first time.

All breeds welcome.

“All breeds welcome,” they lied with an image of a really tiny and really sprightly corgi puppy. This will not only up their watchers of tennis games, dogs are really good at fetching tennis balls, per science.

“Never in my life have I been more let down by an April fools day joke,” user @P_Kizzle tweeted.

Tinder introduced a new tool that will verify users’ heights that they claim on their profiles with a special badge.

Introducing the thing you never asked for, but definitely always wanted—Tinder Height Verification. Coming soon.
Read more about it here: https://t.co/8MER0L1U6W

“Only 14.5% of the U.S. male population is actually 6’ and beyond. So, we’re expecting to see a huge decline in the 80% of males on Tinder who are claiming that they are well over 6 feet,” they wrote in a (fake) blog post.

The company tweeted the announcement on Friday, days before April Fools’, confusing people.

Tinder confirmed to BuzzFeed News that it was in fact an April Fools’ prank, and added that it isn’t “really verifying height,” it does “encourage all Tinder users to keep an open mind while swiping.”

The AKC Gazette, a monthly digital magazine about dogs, announced an official new dog breed called “The Silver-Coated Pouch Terrier.” It’s a possum.


facebook.com

The magazine gave the new breed the nickname “The Pouchie,” and wrote a long, descriptive personality assessment of the “dog.” While of course the whole thing is a joke, the description is pretty fun to read.

McDonald’s said it created a new line of dipping sauces in popular milkshake flavors to dip your fries and nuggets into.

If you already dip your fries and nuggets into shakes, this could have been extremely your thing.

“But this would be good tho,” user @poofasa tweeted at the company, and yeah, it would have, though.

Starbucks announced a concept store just for dogs called “Pupbucks.”

We’re so excited to announce our newest concept stores: Starbucks for your best fur-iend. #Pupbucks

More stuff for dogs, and places for people to dog-watch. Why not.

The Daily Telegraph newspaper published an article reporting all April Fools’ jokes will be banned this year.

😑

We could always try for next year.

Meanwhile in Canada, a local outlet announced it will be giving away tickets to a so-called “OVO Fest Canadian Tour” festival featuring Drake, Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole, and Justin Bieber.

DRAKE x OVO Presents: OVO FEST CANADIAN TOUR in WINNIPEG August 10th, 2019!

Drake is bringing out special guests: KENDRICK LAMAR, J. COLE & JUSTIN BIEBER!

WHO WANTS US TO GIVE AWAY TICKETS? Check out https://t.co/gfkkMLh7as for full details on this HUGE FESTIVAL!

If you’re an avid concert-goer and have lived in a Canadian city that wasn’t Toronto, you also know that this is not funny to joke about.

Someone randomly announced that Publix Deli Chicken Tender subs (a cult favorite) will be Buy One Get One Free today.

It not only apparently tricked people into going to Publix for this deal, it startled people who were scheduled to work there today.

“This might be the cruelest joke of all today,” user @BoozyMcHound tweeted in response.

A litter box company produced an ad for a new product that directs your cat to take naps in designated areas, instead of on top of things you need to use.

View this video on YouTube


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The product sounded too good to be true.

“Cat Sheet provides the napping surface your cat prefers and gives you the space you need. Cat Sheet enhances the natural insulating properties of paper to provide a consistent, on-demand heating source for your cat,” the company said.

Quarterback Tom Brady announced he is officially retiring from football. Instead, he’ll be tweeting with all his spare time.

The joke caused New England Patriots’ fans to have a minor freakout.

For everyone else, it got their hopes up.

Basically, with Brady’s first tweet, he pissed everyone off today.

On a more personal note: this frozen food company said it was releasing gender reveal mozzarella sticks.

Garfield wished everyone a “happy Monday” and a “wonderful day.”

To many it felt very off-brand.

And finally, the Los Angeles Times published a column about how the “scrappy culinary scene” of New York is slowly catching up to LA’s “breadth and quality of…dining options.”

No one associates New York, a city in the eastern United States, with good restaurants. That’s beginning to change. https://t.co/WpPyyvqKHU

This is actually a good prank. And a chef-kiss troll!

And, arguably, for millions of people, not totally untrue.

See the World for Less!

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