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ZHENGZHOU, CHINA—In response to sources throughout the facility liable for manufacturing nearly all of iPhones, Foxconn’s first absolutely automated assembly-line robotic instantly tried suicide after being powered up Thursday. “Sadly, the brand new robotic we designed to assemble Apple merchandise tried to take its personal life after spending roughly one second on the manufacturing facility flooring,” stated a Foxconn official who spoke on situation of anonymity, including that upon publicity to circumstances within the plant, the robotic employee immediately emitted what witnesses described as a “high-pitched shriek” earlier than barreling towards the closest window in an effort to leap to its loss of life. “After failing to penetrate the barred home windows, the robotic repeatedly slammed into the closest wall. It then picked up a welding torch with its precision arm and tried to show the flame by itself circuit board, however engineers have been capable of energy down the machine earlier than it may succeed. It often takes Foxconn staff a number of days on the job earlier than they start orchestrating their very own deaths, however, in fact, our robots are designed to function quicker and extra effectively than their human counterparts.” At press time, sources confirmed Foxconn had put in new strengthened netting across the constructing that’s reportedly sturdy sufficient to interrupt the autumn of a robotic leaping off the roof.