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Netflix Adds Thousands Of Mediocre New Subscribers

LOS GATOS, CA—Expressing disappointment while paging through a list of recent additions to the streaming-video service, Netflix executive Bela Bajaria noted Wednesday that the site had been updated to include thousands of mediocre new subscribers. “It’s nice to see some fresh options on here, but none of these people look very interesting at all,” said Bajaria, staring vacantly as she browsed the thousands of dull and uninspiring users added to Netflix this month. “Ugh, I was hoping there would finally be some good ones available, but these new subscribers just look boring or, in some cases, flat-out stupid. I’ve been scrolling and scrolling, but nothing is jumping out at me. It’s like, what’s the point?” Bajaria went on to lament the fact that so many of her favorite subscribers weren’t even on the site anymore.

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