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Senate Passes Bipartisan Resolution Preventing Themselves From Stopping Trump

WASHINGTON—In a sharp rebuke of the President’s failure to denounce Russia for interfering in the 2016 election, the Senate passed a bipartisan resolution Friday preventing themselves from stopping Trump. “Today, in service to the American people, we set aside our differences and reached across the aisle to send President Trump an important message; we will not be the ones to keep him in check,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, detailing the Congressional Paralyzation Act, which passed in a 98-0 floor vote and decreed that no member of congress shall attempt to impede the President’s actions, regardless of how illegal or immoral. “Finally, after months of infighting and delay, our hands are officially tied when it comes to Donald Trump. The president must understand that we will not, and as of today cannot, do anything to stop him. With the support of our colleagues in the House, we remain steadfast in doing absolutely nothing whatsoever to curb his power.” At press time, Senators who had originally rejected the bill, including Jeff Flake and Susan Collins, had taken to social media to explain why they had ultimately changed their votes to “yes.”

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